It irritates the fuck outta me when some places of employment act just like high school. Some jobs have all the same bullshit high school drama, except you get paid for it.
I just caught up with an old co-worker. Sometimes I’m glad I’m not working at Great America anymore, even though I got paid to not really do shit as a supervisor.
I remember when I was five, I swallowed a tiny marble to find out if I can see it after I poo.
Yeah, I was a dumb kid.
Perfectionists piss me off. Especially when it comes to academics. There was this chick in high school that threw a fit because she was ten points off from a perfect score on her SATs.
I also fucking hate conversations like these:
A: “How’d you think you did on your midterm?”
B: “Fuuuck, I think I failed.”
—A week later, after getting midterms back—
B: ”Ugh, I knew I did bad.”
A: ”What’d you get?”
B: “I got a B.”
A: /facepalm
I literally SMH at people I thought I used to know.
It’s funny that childhood lessons from your parents like, “Hanging out with certain people can be good/bad influences,” also still applies to your adult life.
The things I think about when I’m hungry scare me sometimes.
I’m a grammar snob. I try not to point it out a lot at the risk of sounding pretentious and douchey, but there are so many times where I want to take whatever the fuck they wrote online and red pen the shit out of it.
I’m sorry, but if you’re out of high school, in college, or even out of college, and you can’t understand the fucking difference between your, you’re, there, their, and they’re, then get your illiterate ass enrolled back into an English class.
Illiterate might be taking it a bit too far, but honestly… You went to school for a reason. How about applying at least some of the shit you learned outside of it?
I recently went through my tags of each Giants player this season. Holy crap I have a hell of a lot of posts on Brandon Belt. More than any other player.

In my sophomore year of high school, for my birthday I received three cakes, two sets of cupcakes, a few gifts, fried chicken (lolwut), and a few cards and posters during school from friends. Except for maybe a couple, I don’t talk to any of them anymore.
Shit changes after high school, kiddies.
I get mistaken for different ethnicities a lot. It’s especially funny when people try talk to be in the dialect I’m mistaken for. The funniest one I’ve been mistaken for was Mexican. I honestly think it’s ‘cause of the ‘stache.
I remember I thought I was the shit in elementary school because I had Heelys. I was always rolling around during recess and shit and got everybody j3@L0u$. Then there was one day where I ate it so bad and was embarrassed as fuck. I never wore them to school again. LOLOL
If anything — other than the taste and smell, of course — I love the sound of food sizzling as it’s being cooked on a hot pan.
Cooking is just way too great good, not great — in more ways than one.
I am not studious. Not at all.
Homework is either done the class before, or not at all. Studying is always done 15 minutes before a quiz or test. Papers and essays? Loads of bullshitting and/or not doing it at all.
This was me in high school, and a little bit even transferred into college. Yet somehow good grades were never a problem for me. I half-assed throughout all four years of high school, and my friends were always angry when I got A’s and B’s in test scores and as final grades.
This is not a brag post. I honestly don’t even know how I pulled shit like that off.

…Brandon Belt has been the source of many of my facts.
Oh hey, two facts in one post!
This one time, I found a dollar, and then I spent it, and then I didn’t have the dollar anymore.